50 how to’s
How to:
- Scratch an itch
- Walk a dog
- Feed a cat (premise: cat annoying owner, punchline: cat walks away without eating food)
- Walk a cat (premise: cat running away from leash, punchline: cat being unhappily walked)
- Put on pants
- Light a candle (premise: ordinary candle light, punchline: it’s for a seance/occult activity)
- Bury a body (premise: just digging a hole, punchline: zombies)
- Eat an Oreo
- Braid your hair
- Put a leash on a dog
- Put hair in pony tail
- Vacuum
- Peel an orange
- Take a nap (premise: getting ready for sleep, punchline: passing out face first into the floor)
- Give whipped cream to a dog
- Brush your teeth
- Put in contacts
- Brush your hair
- Pour cereal
- Study (premise: peacefully studying, punchline: student becoming very frustrated and pulling out hair)
- Clean glasses (premise: glasses are dirty, punchline: the glasses end up dirtier/more smudged)
- Put on glasses
- Tie a tie
- Water plants
- Put a fitted sheet on a bed (premise: seems like a successful attempt, punchline: the fitted sheet still pops out)
- Turn on a light (premise: person turns on light switch, punchline: to something surprising/shocking/funny)
- Turn on a car
- Jump start a car (premise: car battery is dead and need to jump start it, punchline: person gets electrocuted)
- Make a friend
- Sew a button
- Button a shirt
- Do your laundry (premise: person is gathering their dirty laundry, punchline: their dirty laundry just keeps piling up)
- Catch a firefly
- Kill a fruit fly (premise: fly is bugging a person and they attempt to kill it, punchline: fly still gets away unscathed)
- Watch a movie
- Open a window
- Open up blinds (premise: person wants to pull up the shades to a window, punchline: the blinds ends up being messed up)
- Make a cup of coffee (premise: person wants to make coffee, punchline: with how much cream and sugar the person puts in - could it still be considered coffee?)
- Put on tights (premise: person is putting on tights, punchline: they have to dance around to get them fully on)
- Eat a cupcake (premise: a cupcake is presented, punchline: person makes it into a cupcake sandwich)
- Get a job
- Pour a (/an alcoholic) drink (premise: someone is making a cocktail, punchline: they end up just chugging the bottle of what they were pouring)
- Eat a sandwich
- Microwave a peep (premise: peep gets put in the microwave, punchline: peep explodes)
- Eat a banana (premise: person is unpeeling a banana, punchline: person throws it away because bananas are disgusting)
- Yawn
- Take a test
- Cheat
- Pet a dog (premise: a dog is being pet, punchline: dog now wants belly rub or more dogs appear)
- Paint your nails
